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" Do not say no .... Take everything I ".. : Learn to say no without feeling guilty

Lucio Battisti aside, say "no" is an art that few know well, and less able to grow and put into practice. It is an indispensable way to define their territory both physically and emotionally, a limit that should be clear to all and that everyone should he knows how to defend, but then why is it so difficult to say no? because we are often easier to adopt a doormat behavior rather than to affirm our sacrosanct right to say no?. It is partly due to our style of behavioral and psychological passive: rather it is a pass through clenched teeth that bad uncaring or worse still be considered and not end up being isolated. Say no means always a firm confidence in themselves and in their own abilities and know then say so assertive: it's very clear what you want and how you might feel in doing something wrong and then it clearly says no without fear or anxiety of some kind of impact without the anger and the attitude-mat naturally brings with it. If we think about a dog that stepped on the tail and it barks growls against us .. in short, angry ... and that's why we hurt. Similarly, when we say no we say yes but in reality we get angry with ourselves, we give good for nothing and that's because we have inflicted an injury to ourselves, we set something that is not wanted and we lost an opportunity to establish a border between us and the will of others. However, while aware of this, they often continue to fall into the same error especially for the handling of a sense of guilt induced by the other. Leveraging on our sense of duty and socially shared beliefs that .... "If you told me I was not really a friend I would say no," or .. "If you really loved me you would for me .. others lead us to do violence to ourselves snatching a yes that costs us dearly. The way they get what they want but us? ... We are happy, quiet? It was what I really wanted? Saying NO is' more complicated, especially as adults. As children, was another story. Children are not to think so .. if it is NO, I do not want .. No, I do not like .. then No! They are still in their positions until the adult or chapter to despair and then they have won and learned the lesson of NO (if you want to assert your point of view .. you insist), or for fear of retribution or losing something, but give up .. do not forget. As adults remains is the fear of loss or the consequences. How can we then say no sesi without problems and without guilt? How can one stop to the behavior-szerbino? The key question is' ask me .. now .. do I want? Keep their borders and 'a daily practice until you learn to practice their rights ... which is not' not easy for someone who has done goodism his lifestyle ("I'm not used to say no and then I would not want to be rude!") It 's very difficult to fix the limits of the relationship with other species with those arrogant or insisting that manipulate to achieve their goal. Let us ask then: doing things against our will as we feel? Each of us can and has the right to say no if that's what feels right for him at that time because we remember that we are the sole judges of ourselves. If we want and then to stand there are several ways: if the other is easily offended, maybe explain that we are obliged to say no or always pr mitigate waste, adding that it is very difficult, but we do not find the words ... A Another way to mitigate the no and then soften the peremptory is to repeat the request of the other and then say no the best strategy, however, you say no, just add an explanation or offer an alternative.
learn to use then no, we safeguard our living space by fellow jerks, mothers-intrusive, noisy neighbors friends who ask favors all the time: we begin to do a favor to ourselves first of all understand that it is our right and duty to say no.

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In cella dopo aver raccolto le monetine più famose di Roma

A man of 58 years, Roberto Cercelletta, was arrested by police following the theft of coins thrown by tourists in the Trevi fountain.

D'Artagnan, the nickname by which this man is' called, has been arrested after stalking a group of men of the Old Town that I have caught in the act, while raking the bottom of the fountain coins.
The agents were stationed in that man, despite several verbal warnings and fines and rilevategli because of his embezzlement, has never stopped his daily "activity" at night.

why the offense for which D'Artagnan is finito in manette è stato quello di furto aggravato del bene esposto alla pubblica fede e destinato a pubblico interesse.

Il denaro che i turisti lanciano quotidianamente nella vasca finisce infatti alla Caritas. Con quei soldi vengono gestite tre case famiglia, uno spaccio per pensionati e un ostello.

Il ladro è stato trovato al momento dell'arresto con 618,41 euro mentre cercava, in tutta fretta, di disfarsi del denaro. Anche altre monete straniere venivano raccolte dall'uomo, in totale ne sono state trovate ben 789 (dollari, sterline etc...). Il magistrato ha quindi provveduto a disporre il rito per direttissima dopo aver convalidato l'arresto.

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Love is forever ... while it lasts: how can a relationship last over time

"Love is eternal while it lasts," it was called a film by Carlo Verdone focused on the problems of torque, mirror the emotional tsunami that every union through sooner or later but then get out unscathed. In a love life may end, and this is the first thought which should be initiated report: no no, nothing nefarious or that sounds like a prophecy, but simply a realization that a union, as may be mutually enriching and wonderful time in the end. Many people in fact, especially in long-term relationships tend to deal with anything but the other, taking it for granted as if it were part of the furniture of the house is a bit 'as if they had a nice fire burning in the fireplace but do not nothing to add firewood: you can not expect that the fire remains lit for long. A mistake that unfortunately is often made is to get caught by a thousand commitments: career, hobbies, home, friends, and there is more time to speak and listen, and so it goes on as if it was more than a limited company a couple: get together the money for the home, the utilities, but not shared anything more. It 'obvious that a relationship can not grow by itself if you do not participate, if you do not communicate, if there is interest and desire on both sides to take time, that space sacred and vital to keep the fire in the fireplace .
But then, one wonders, what is the recipe to make a relationship last? .. Given that prevention is better than cure, it is good to bear in mind some of the following suggestions:
1) know what you want from a relationship and articulate their own needs: let us not take physics by the attraction, do not take relationships hoping that the other sooner or later will change for our sake, do not claim to have demonstrations of love that our friends by their partners .. everyone has their own way to love, to prove it, to speak of love, and it is this that makes it unique and special. We must learn to express our needs because it is not true that "if I really love to understand what I need!" .. the partner does not have a crystal ball or read in the thought of our need to speak clearly and listen to those of the
2) able to understand and meet the needs of others: If your partner speaks little or no argues that nothing is said to be happy. Even after years of relationship is always good to ask: "Is it alright if we do this?, If we go to that place?" Do not take for granted its consent simply because there has always told you .. every day is a day in its own right and every situation is unique. It is not an ornament or a couch is our partner!
3) Communicate clearly and to listen: A lot of people communicate, but to be seen as: yelling, criticizing, imposed on them to listen you must let them talk, trying to figure out what he says and try another. What would be better to hear "I understand how you feel!" Instead of the usual "Do you think those who are worse than you! "
4) Be realistic setting aside the ideal love, we must understand what actually the partner can give us. Everyone can have moments of difficulty in long-term relationships as the death of a parent, work problems, and it is important to have an understanding partner who can support us in these moments.
5) Learning to gratify your partner and focus on its quality: Unfortunately, our culture focuses only on negative errors, misfortunes, sins, assuming the positive. E 'instead essential to pay attention to the quality of the partner: ok, not perfect, but then, who is? We are human beings and perfection does not belong to the partner or to us .. so stop judging only infallible and note its flaws, learn to make surprises, to touch, to smile and gratify: the relationship and we will draw our own benefit.
6) balanced relationship with the family of origin: It 's good entertaining ties with his family, but by cutting the umbilical cord that would otherwise end up strangling the pair. And 'in fact be detected as statistically prorpio unbalanced relationship with the family of origin a major cause of the breakdown of many marriages. This is not to ignore or deny his family but simply to realize be grown and capable of going ahead with their own two feet, tracing the path of the couple with their partner.
Sure would be nice to find the recipe .... and they all lived happily ever after "but not discouraged, everyone has the opportunity to write their own happy ending if they really decide to open up and get involved, talking, listening and making your partner accomplice adventure that lasts a lifetime

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Panic Attacks: Who's Afraid of Fear??

palpitations, sudden sweating, choking, fear of dying or going crazy, dizziness, lightheadedness, all while we are perhaps in a bus or train or elevator.
suffer from panic attacks on a person 25 depending on the gender (a man every two women) of age (over 35% between the ages of 25 and 35) and other factors such as size of city and country where you live . For example from a recent study showed that in a city like Rome is easier to have a panic attack than other Italian cities, most small and quiet ... metro, buses, traffic, appointments one after another ...
Panic attacks appear especially during adolescence or early adulthood and, although the exact causes are unclear, there seems to be a link with the most important phases of transition della vita che portano inevitabilmente una certa quantità di stress e ansia: gli esami scolastici e universitari, il matrimonio, il primo figlio, cambiare lavoro o posizione lavorativa, e così via, per cui non sono rare situazioni in cui l'esordio appare per esempio intorno ai 30 anni, intorno ai 40 eccetera.
Solitamente, chi soffre di attacchi di panico, è già un “affezionato” del pronto soccorso: gli attacchi di panico vengono correttamente identificati, ma molto spesso la persona vengono trattate con sufficienza, come se, non avendo un'origine medica, il disturbo non fosse una sofferenza reale: “stai tranquillo è un comunissimo attacco di panico… sei stressato??!!”…
without being treated, panic disorder can lead to very serious consequences. People who have repeated panic attacks with a frequency of more than four times a year, usually they are also constantly worried about the next time you happen to one of the feared attacks, anticipatory anxiety is panic disorder. The person is so quickly embroiled in a terrible vicious cycle that often carries the " agoraphobia " or anxiety related to being in places or situations from which it would be difficult or embarrassing to get away , or in which help may not be available, if of a panic attack so inaspettato.Diventa almost impossible to leave home alone, traveling by train, bus or drive a car, stay in a crowd or in the queue, and so on.
The avoidance of all potentially anxiety-inducing situations becomes the prevailing mode the person becomes a slave of his disorder, often forcing all family members to adapt accordingly, not to leave her alone and to accompany her everywhere, with the inevitable sense of frustration that comes from being "great and
big" but dependent on others.
If not undertake appropriate treatment, often also suffer from secondary depression (ie linked to the situation anxious to trigger), can not be satisfied with nothing and are afraid to leave their homes.
This is why it is very important to know what are the symptoms of panic attacks and be sure to get the right help.
Treating panic attacks is possible!
The panic attack, being a manifestation of anxiety, has the same kind of benefit from relaxation, which all have anxiety disorders. Although agoraphobia can be solved completely, although it is more durable with regard to specific phobias. To overcome the problems associated with the disorder is important to know that treat panic attacks is may, it must be .. obviously turning to an expert, so as to understand its origin, development and eradicate the disease, preventing recurrence or "movements" of the symptom