Jealousy is usually considered one of the emotions "negative" and therefore a refuge: it is a fault to be jealous even more if you think about the implications that this disease can take. In fact
jealousy is a natural feeling because you do not demonize the human being has always been fundamental importance: the jealousy and possessiveness are in fact aimed at the stability of the couple and the conservation of the species. From a phylogenetic point of view in males is related to the security of legitimate paternity certainty, and then to provide for their children, in the case of the female but the reason related to the need for him to take a partner capable of ensuring the food and protection to their offspring.
So this is a thrill not to reject and which are not vergognarsi poiché ha una sua ragion d’essere; si è gelosi quando abbiamo paura di perdere qualcosa o qualcuno che per noi ha molto valore: diventiamo sospettosi, diffidenti e sempre di più possessivi: abbiamo paura in poche parole di non riuscire a tenere a sé l’oggetto del nostro amore.
Ma quali sono le caratteristiche della persona gelosa?
Alla base della personalità di questa si può ipotizzare anzitutto una scarsa autostima, legata alle convinzioni profonde di non essere degno di amore e di non essere all’altezza dell’altro ( è quindi bene tenersi stretto chi si ha perché sarà difficile trovare un’altra persona che ci ami). Solitamente si tratta di una persona con high levels of anxiety, trying to hide their insecurity with behavior very strong, even aggressive, up to a probable extreme gestures.
When jealousy goes beyond the limits and then you should worry about?
studies have attempted to define the parameters threshold (Lorenzi, 2001; Pazzagli, 2003) is considered acceptable and transient episodic feeling that does not cause suffering their own and others, while if it exceeds a threshold limit of sixty minutes a day is considered pathological. That is, if you plan on a day with pain and persistently implemented the possible betrayal by their partner, this should be considered an alarm bell that indicates that something is va nella relazione di coppia e nella propria personalità
Cosa accade a chi soffre di gelosia patologica?
La persona è tormentata da pensieri ossessivi (proprio con le caratteristiche di un Disturbo Ossessivo Compulsivo) con tema il tradimento:il “dubbio sulla infedeltà del partner” è un dubbio lacerante che non si riesce a mettere a tacere. Oppure, nel caso del Delirio di gelosia, la persona ha una convinzione delirante del tradimento, convinzione che è impermeabile nei confronti della realtà. Mentre nel primo caso c’è il dubbio, nel secondo c’è la certezza: l’Altro è infedele, se c’è qualcosa da ricercare questa è solo una confessione completa. As for the obsessive jealousy often people recognize the invalidity of their suspicions, there's also a shame, but they are, despite themselves, and dragged underwater by tormentosità of the doubt. So there are those who submit to his wife every day pounding interrogators, who thoroughly check the purity of her attire or matching partner and who maybe even underwear looking for illicit sexual activities. These people fail to realize their exaggerations, but "do not make it" to change behavior, or to banish such thoughts from his mind, but felt as absurd.
To simplify we can say that there are four types of jealousy:
1. depressive jealousy: you do not feel up to the partener
2. obsessive jealousy: it is constantly gripped by doubt whether one is loved or not
3. anxious jealousy: you live with the nightmare of being left
4. paranoid jealousy: characterized by constant and excessive suspiciousness
I'm more jealous males or females? Nomal
Jealousy is usually referred to as the "salt of the couple" because of the presence shows the importance and exclusivity of the other, giving flavor to the report. The intensity of the jealousy felt the same for males and females, it seems that change the behaviors that are associated with it.
Men prefer more active behavior in case of betrayal by their companion address the problem also facing the rival.
The women suffer more emotional level through despair or depression or sometimes with psychosomatic illnesses.
Some studies have shown that the most common reaction to both sexes is to mull over so tormented the incident, and with this frequency, duration and intensity equivalent in both sexes. In pathological jealousy seems that women are by far the highest rate of depression and obsessive jealousy, whereas among males to prevail is the most worrying paranoid jealousy.
How to help and get help? First
not be demonized jealousy, it is useful to talk about it, understand its signals or other person who can make us think of aggressive behavior or otherwise pathological .. It 'good to ask for help immediately, and work on themselves, on their sense of inadequacy and unworthiness of love, to feel better about themselves and therefore within relationships, especially emotional ones.
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